TRAPPED

Self-improvement is a vast topic. I have been looking for total wellness. Total wellness for me means that all aspects of my life are in harmony and balance.  My spirit, body, and mind have been struggling for years. The pain and hurt from all the people and situations in my life that I have held on to, TRAPPED me. It held me in a place where I had to learn and maneuver through things in my life in tight spaces. When I got cancer a lot of those barriers that TRAPPED me were broken. When my mommy left me, being TRAPPED in her love and safety was also broken. I am still raw and sensitive to all these new sensations and experiences being in this world without her and being vulnerable without her guidance.

Looking into improving myself, I, of course, prayed but, I needed more… I am not a conventional person. Things for me have to be done on an unconventional scale. I go to church, I pray, I read my bible (in binge patterns).  But I sometimes need things said in plain English, not in parable or riddles…… just plain simple words.

I looked at the motivational speaker Tony Robbins: I am not your Guru on Netflix. He said some profound things about the negative people in our lives. We would not be who we are without them; we should thank them. I understood it when I heard it but did not want to thank the people who caused me the most pain in my life. I am still angry at them. When I completed that thought I knew… I understood. If I had forgiven before this stage in my life; I would have made some better choices. At that moment I thought about the people I hated… Yes, Hated… some were already dead and gone.  They stole years away from me.  I forgive you… I forgive you for warping my mind….. I forgive you for compromising all my relationships… I forgive you for separating me from my family… I forgive you for making me feel like anything that went wrong was my fault… I forgive myself for not seeing the clearer picture. I forgive myself for being TRAPPED for so long. I forgive myself for being controlled by others’ thoughts and emotions.

Being TRAPPED has taught me so much. It is funny even with my intellect, yet I was limited for so long by others and their issues. It is time to be free and live in the purpose I am destined to live. I forgive you. I forgive you… But most of all I forgive me. It is never too late to be better… this METAMORPHOSIS is going to more magnificent than you can imagine.

Let us discuss what has TRAPPED you. Let us work together in being free.
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