Painful Times, But ELOHIM

This is the first real family holiday that I had to deal with missing a large piece of my heart. I dealt with her funeral, her birthday, and my being sick without her care. I am in agony. Even though she was sick, she was here. We laughed and we cried and she was able to still guide and love me. I miss her smell, I miss her voice, and I miss her touch. There is nothing in this world to replace her. The pain is enormous. This is pain that has not been dealt with…pain that has not been faced due to my unforeseen circumstances.

I am celebrating the Holiday Season for my children’s sake. However, if it were up to me, I would not get out of bed. This reminds me of when I started my family. She would say to me, “Now it will be easier for you if I am gone.” I told her she was crazy, I would act plum fool. Now it seems likes she and God (ELOHIM) took care of that. While I do cry sometimes, I am so preoccupied with the family and my health that I have no choice but to move forward. I feel as if I am the Grinch this year. I will do what I have to, but I am not in the mood for any of this holiday cheer. I do not believe on being thankful on Thanksgiving Day only or kind only during the Christmas season. I believe in being thankful and kind every day.

I ask for peace and comfort during this time of year for everyone that has lost a loved one. This is not easy. For me, having cancer was easy. This emptiness is torture, but may GOD (ELOHIM) grant us peace and comfort.

Live LIFE in COLOR
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