Grace according to Merriam-Webster has several meanings, the first is unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification. The second is virtue coming from God. Third, a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine assistance.
The year 2015 changed everything…Everything that happened in that year changed everything.
I was diagnosed with cancer just days after burying my mother. People who know me know my mother was my everything and I was hers. I had no idea what I was going to do without her in my life. Yes, I had children, yes, I had a husband. But my lifeline left me here on this earth to fend by myself. I never lived without her love, her words, her approval, nor her advice. Now, I am fighting for my life without her here to hold my hand, to pray, to talk me through it all. My children had to learn how to take care of mommy, instead of mommy taking care of them. Hubby had emotions that only appeared as rage and anger. I couldn’t mourn my mom, because I had to fight for my own life.
I had to use the Faith that I had built to care and fight for my mother’s life to fight for my own. I was saved at a young, but my faith was always used for others and never for myself. I was 38 years old with 2 children, 11 and 9 years old. My 9-year-old had Asperger’s syndrome and newly diagnosed. While battling other personal issues. I was in a place where my world was crumbling fast and I saw no happy end in sight.
Throughout these 5 years, I have had some major ah-ha moment. Everything I did in my life set me up to take care of my mother for 3 years and fight for her. Everything I did in my life set me up to nurture and teach my son the coping skills that he had to the point that his autism was hard to detect. Everything I did in my life set me up to teach my daughter how to cook and take care of us, while we fought cancer. I say we because cancer did just affect me it affected my entire household. Everything I did in my life set me up to write this at this very moment to encourage someone else. Everything I did in my life set me up to pray for others that I never met with cancer. Everything I did in my life set me up to love on myself when I felt like no one else can. Everything in my life set me up to depend on others because we do not live in this world alone.
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I had to focus on being grateful for the little things. Waking up, being able to taste, smell, and feel, seeing the beauty in everything even when I could not see the beauty in myself, being able to taste and feel the warmth of the sun, being able to laugh and enjoy my children. These are things we take for granted. We need to be grateful for the little things so we will be able to appreciate the big things when they come around.
God has kept me, I believe because I have more to do in this life. I have new relationships to make. I have more people to pray for. I have more art to create. I have more things in life to experience and more love to give. I am 43 years of age and I have a Legacy and Empires to build. I am grateful to God for His grace. Many have died from what I have lived through. I will succeed in what God has set out for me to do for His Glory. In Holman Christian bible, Psalms 57:2 it states “I call to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me.”
Be grateful for the grace over your life.
LIVE LIFE in COLOR
Tani’s World